It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
