The best revenge is premature balding
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
