We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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