No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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