What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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