Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i came on her dog
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
