my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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