He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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