I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
