just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
