he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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