You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize