i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
