If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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