You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
