just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
