I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
