Tell her she can't have a vagina
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
