Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
