Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
