Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
only you would photoshop your dick
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dicks are not precious.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
