dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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