Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
