dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
