Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
