I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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