I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
