it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
