reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
