chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
