Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
