Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
