Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
