This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im holly from the hills drunk
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize