i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
