i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
