No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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