So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
