Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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