Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
