her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
