I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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