This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
