I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
