There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize