And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
ok first of all what the fuck
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
