I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
