he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize