Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
