just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
there is puke in my bra ... again
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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