Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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