thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
