youre lurking in front of me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
