I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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