I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
