no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
