dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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