so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
