We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
