Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
